One of the worst feelings is drifting away from a best friend. One minute your close, you do everything together, make plans, support each other, do everything with each other. The next you hardly see each other, there was once a time you saw each other at least once a week then next it's like you see each other once every 3weeks if your lucky. I get people can drift when you have issues in your life & your going through a difficult time but that doesn't make it any easier. During difficult times you should both be able to turn to each other & be each others strength in order to get each other through & at the same time have it strengthen your friendship. Okay so your going through hell but you have a best friend to help pull you through & when your out at the other end through it your friendship is 100 times stronger. But not this time. This time I feel like we've gone our separate ways & it's hard to get back. I get pushed away & forgotten about so I feel. You offer to be there for someone & do what you can for them because you don't want them going through it on their own but when a person won't talk to you it's hard. You can't force a person to speak I get that but at the same time if you can't share things with your best friend & open up then who can you talk to? Bottling things up doesn't solve anything I've learnt from that before. It eats away at you & in the end it all becomes too much & you just crack.
The truth is I miss my best friend more than anything & life is alot tougher without having her around. We've got through alot together & I just hope we'll get through more. Sometimes now I feel on my own & like Im missing my right arm cos that's what she's like. She's a part of me that without I just couldn't function. In life we want different things & we couldn't be more different from each other but our friendship has always just worked. It's one of those friendships where you know your truly blessed to have it. But sometimes I wonder just what they think.
I hate the fact I'm getting all emotional over this & the fact tears come to my eyes discussing this now. But I really hate the fact one of the most important person in my life is slipping away from me. That's not just something you can easily ignore.
All I've wanted this week when going through this issue & me not being myself is my best friend :(
Everyone of my friends have been amazing & given advice & been my rock but sometimes just a comment & a cute text from your best friend to say "it'll be okay babygirl I'll get you through, you've always got me" I would of been okay.
I hope that in time once out of these issues our friendship will come back to how it once was when we'd go out & cause trouble in town being the sambucca princess's, go on random adventures, go on holidays & get silly drunk & dance on bars, & just generally enjoy each others company once again.
One last thing because I know she'll read this:
No matter what you'll always be my best friend even if I'm in a different country that's half way around the world. To me your not just a best friend but like my sister. Your a part of my life that I don't want to change. No matter what the issue I'm always here for you, whatever the time of day or night. Just reach out for my hand & I'll always be right here to get you through. I miss you & love you lots. Never forget that.
Love Lottie xox
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