A break & time away from everything & everyone can solve a lot. You think of it & you think of an unsure feeling of whether it can actually help & improve a state of mind. You worry that it won't & then what would happen if even getting yourself something like 200 miles from home would make any difference at all? But it's a risk you should take & something you should try before you rule it out. After all until you try you don't know, whether you know what's right for you or not. It can help get you away from the main issues, the main people who cause the issues, get you to new surroundings, be surrounded by new people & take away all the stresses. It might not cure you in everyway but it can give you that starting step that you need. The first starting block to the path of getting back to way better than you ever was. It might only be the first block but its a step closer to the end of the path than you was before.
I'm currently on my journey home from Oxford. Very reluctantly may I add. I love that place. The countryside is the most beautiful thing, it's peaceful, tranquil & the perfect place for someone who has issues with their state of mind like mine. I was abit concerned that time away would not change a thing for me but I can honestly say it has helped in a way bigger than I thought possible. I will not say I'm 100% cured but I'm back to a better place than I was when I came away. I'm not to the happy Lottie place completely but right now I'm feeling more happy in myself & for me right now that's a good enough starting point to be able to carry on & build on that. I know what I need to do & what changes need to be made in my life. The changes need to be made in order for me to carry on building & make myself better than ever before. I'm determined to grow & right now I've wrote a list of 100 things I wish to do, places I want to see, etc. I'm going to work at my list & ensure I get out of this life what I want to. After all we only all have one life. So now is the chance to live it & start doing all those things. Whether it be go on more holidays & see the places I've always wanted: Dubai, Italy, Egypt, America, Ibiza, so many places. Or whether it be find the right person to settle down with & that'll happen along my path I hope. After all being a mother is one of the top things on that list :)
I've completely spoilt myself this holiday. Brought new clothes, the lot. But after all you can't take you money with you when you die.
So lessons learnt from this break:
*live life to the full. Do all those things you've always wanted to do
*Don't let anyone hold you back or stop you from doing what you want
*take a break when you feel you need it, don't let you drive yourself mad because it becomes too hard in order to bring yourself back
*remain strong at all times & never doubt yourself. You can get through anything life throws at you. After all it's just a test & a teaching for you.
*face things head on & battle through. Don't hide from it.
*go after what you want because its not going to be handed to you on a plate.
*don't worry what others think what you do is your decision to make not theirs.
*dont even worry that your on your own just because others cannot be bothered with you, or they have more important things or people in their lives to look out for. You can make new friendships along the way of your changes. Because people come & go & the ones who look out for you, support you no matter what & make time for you because they know you need someone there. They are the ones who will walk with you no matter where you go in life.
Why go through the awkward stages in life alone, when you can write them away?
Love Lottie xox
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