So the past few days I've truly not felt myself due to the things going on in my mind & I'm the type of person that can never shut off & just ignore it & carry on. I let it get to me, it eats away at me, I take a step back from people & the sparkle in my eyes & the smile on my face disappears. But I guess we can't all be the same & just carry on like normal some of us take a different approach & I'm one of those individuals.
I truly believe that by going through tough times you learn some of life's teachings & realise what's important. Life sometimes just puts obstacles in your way to test just how much you want something & you have to fight for it otherwise you never really wanted it. Life's just one big learning curve & I'm learning from it all the time. Sometimes I think that's enough of the bad now I just want some good to come & I'm hoping in time that'll be the case. After all the cards have to change at some point & the luck has to change for you right? well that's my theory & that's what I'm holding onto & that's what going to get me through.
The past few days & issues I have had in my life have shown me alot of who the true ones are in my life. There are people I cannot fault & could not have asked for more from them. They've been there to support me, cuddle me, listen to me, try to make me smile & pick up the pieces. They have been a rock to me. People like that are priceless & nothing compares to friendships like that. It's something money can't buy that's for sure. But at the same time you can learn that some people aren't there for you quite as you thought they would of been. You feel let down by them & saddened by the fact you thought they would of been one of your main rocks. But I guess you can't always count on the same people to stick by your side. There comes a few times that it can change. But the ones who do remain a constant treasure them & never let them go. They are the people who will forever stick by you & get you through anything life throws at you.
Today has been another day where I find myself going into a daze & not even realising I'm doing it. You sit there & just stare into space. I guess you could say I wish wishing I was somewhere better. Somewhere, where I'm away from reality, then bam your back in the room again & you realise your back to the way things are. Not at there greatest. Being away from reality even if it's just a few blissful moments is good.
I'd like to be my old self again but I'm still trying to find it.
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